I'm four days post surgery now. Four days of getting used to my new tummy and new way of life. So far, so good.
I was talking to John last night about perspective. Since the surgery most of what I've been eating has been on the sweeter side of foods. Sugar free/fat free pudding, sugar free Jell-o, sugar free/fat free yogurt and sugar free protein drinks. You get the picture. As long as it's sugar free, fat free and is completely smooth I might be able to have it. Last night I wanted something savory. I haven't had salty in a few weeks, so I was searching my brain to find something legal to eat that would satisfy my wants. I'm allowed to have Cream of Wheat, so I thought that grits might also be legal. Just the thought of it made me sooo happy. I ran to the cupboard, found some instant grits, made it nice and thin, added a very small pat of Brummel and Brown yogurt butter and it was fantastic. I was in heaven. I ate the entire package (just one serving) and I was completely content. Here's where the perspective comes in. Before the surgery or even before the 2 week liquid diet, a single pack of grits would have just made me more hungry, but last night it was a feast. It hit the spot and I didn't need or want anything more for quite a while. I almost felt guilty for eating the whole package.... now that's a different perspective on food!
I truly think that not only did the surgery change the way my body physically needs/responds to food, but doing the two week liquid diet changed so much about the way I thought about food. I realize now I do not need much in the way of calories to sustain a healthy life. As long as I am getting the nutrients that I need, the vitamins I need, and enough calories to allow my body to function well - I am fine. I was living off of 960 calories a day during the pre-op liquid diet and I lost 16 pounds doing that. 16 pounds in 12 days!!! It's drastic, yes, but it shows me that obviously I was allowing the "pain" of hunger rule my life. I had always allowed hunger to determine so much of what I did during the day, where I went and what I did. Now I realize that it's OK to feel hungry. I'm not going to fall over dead if I don't satisfy the hunger. I just want to know why did I take 30+ years fo figure that one out???
I will tell you I'm looking forward to being able to eat a more varied diet. I have one more week with the full liquid diet then I can move on to the "MUSHY" phase. Oh, how I am looking forward to that one - hummus, soft beans, eggs, oatmeal, peanut butter, fish, scallops, crab, moist chicken, veggies and fruits! BUT then again there is sacrifice when there is reward. For now I am able to eat any time I'm hungry as long as it's on the approved list. When I start the mushy phase I will only be allowed the three TINY little meals (1/4 c. each) a day with protein supplement drinks. No snacking. Here is where the discipline and the new prospective will hopefully help me win over this battle of my bulges!
Wish me luck!
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