Now I look forward to walking and doing some form of exercise, although full out aerobics still are pretty hard for me. Hopefully once I get a little more off and become more and more fit, aerobics will be easier. I'm trying to do everything right. I'm not perfect, but I'm doing pretty darn well.
While all these physical changes are taking place, I'm doing a lot of soul searching. My mind is changing and evolving as well. Like I said in my last post, I am realizing why I am addicted to food and how I was abusing it. I'm not cured, I'm not reformed, but I'm on the path to recovery. I've learned so much in the past 44 days.
For the first time in my life, I'm more concerned about what I'm going to feed my husband and children than I am myself. I usually just throw together something for myself at the last moment. As long as I have my protein and a little something veggie-ish I'm good. I drink my protein shakes and I'm content.
Speaking of contentment... Several years ago I was in Kyoto, Japan and we went to the Ryoanji Temple - it is a beautiful Zen Buddist temple with the most amazing Zen garden. At most of the Japanese temples they have these beautiful stone basins with running water and bamboo cups for you to wash your hands and mouth before entering the temples. Towards the back of the Ryoanji Temple there is a small basin in the shape of a Japanese coin that is inscribed with 吾, 唯, 足, 知. In Japanese it is pronounced "ware tada taru (wo) shiru" and it means "I learn only to be contented".
When I read that, it changed my life. I know it sounds horribly trite, but it's true. I want to learn what is important in my life so that I may be content. I'm learning now how to be content with my appetite, hunger and soon my body.
If we all could "learn to be contented" in so many facets of our lives I think the world would be a better place.
Here's to seeing less of me next time!
Yeah Shannon!
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